I choose me

Source: Inspiring Wall Papers

Source: Inspiring Wall Papers

There are some people in our lives who love us dearly, but their words and behaviors resonate as something completely different in our bodies and energy fields.   What do we do when these people are prominent figures in our lives?   How do we cope when these people are siblings, parents , boyfriends, girlfriends or even spouses?  What if the very person who vows to support you is actually undermining your growth?  Perhaps they could want nothing more than for you to succeed in life, but it’s their idea of success for you.  Do you have people who support you “unconditionally” as long as you’re following their plan or until you have a set back?  Then they disappear.  Who’s voice do you hear when you talk yourself out of trying something new?  Who whispers in your ear when the chance to step outside your box and take a risk presents itself?

At some point we’ve got to take a look down inside ourselves and deeper into our relationships.  Is there someone with whom after every conversation you feel horrible about yourself?  Why do we continue talking to these people?  This could become a very complicated discourse.  “I mean it’s my [insert person here] for God’s sake!  I have to talk to them!  They need me.  I don’t want them to think I don’t care about them!  I love them.  ” Or… “They pay the bills!”  I mean, Right?!  … Absolutely!  Totally valid points and, like I said, complicated.  But, honestly, who are we choosing?

“The most loving parents and relatives commit murder with smiles on their faces.  They force us to destroy the person we really are: a subtle kind of murder.” 
 Jim Morrison

Consider that when we allow people who bring negative energy into our lives, intentional or not, we are telling ourselves, on a subconscious level, that we don’t deserve any better than what they are offering.  As if their behavior isn’t already bringing up questions of worthiness, now our own decision to allow it, reinforces poor self-image.

I know there are those out there who will advise against taking people’s actions personal and remind us of the need to let things go.  There will also be reminders that others should not affect our feelings at all, let alone our feelings about our own self-worth.  Yes, I know all of this.  It’s great advice too!  But, I’m speaking more to those sensitive types.  These are the kind of people who get accused of caring a little too much or being a tad too considerate.  These people often wear their hearts on their sleeves and are constantly looking to make their loved ones happy in one way or another.  And these are the folks that need to protect their hearts and choose themselves for once.

What’s the worst that could happen if you cut the people out of your life who increase your stress and decrease your self-esteem?  Maybe you could grow and get strong like a flower in spring.  If you could change your environment to include only that which nourishes you, maybe you could find your voice and your success.   Maybe you could make yourself proud.  Maybe you could start a revolution inside yourself.

rev·o·lu·tion
 noun \ˌre-və-ˈlü-shən\
: the usually violent attempt by many people to end the rule of one government and start a new one
: a sudden, extreme, or complete change in the way people live, work, etc.

Who governs your soul?  I CHOOSE ME … you should choose YOU too.

Check out this awesome video from Wellcast on ending relationships with toxic people:

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